My space trip was a disaster (first draft)

W.A.L.T write a narrative

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when….

• The title is suitable for the text.

• The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
• The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
• The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
• A twist to add interest to your writing.

This is just my first draft I still have to make tons of improvements>

MY SPACE TRIP

I was sitting alone waiting to make my country proud. I was sitting In the rocket thinking deeply, mostly about my best friend John and how I was to be a hero to my younger cousin humans for I am a chimp. not that random guy outside the spaceship, I got strapped in the chair, a tad tight the countdown began, “10, 9, 8 ,7 ,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” chhhhhhh offfffff!! “We have lift off!”

I was waiting to blow up, when I was leaving earth kaboom I was out.

The radio buzzed, “Space chimp, have you made it?”

I let out a screech. “SPACE CHIMP IS IN SPACE goodnight ham and happy 1961.” Announced best friend Jhon.

65 years later. I wake up slowly I try to move then I remembered and thought is it 1983 already wait I saw the control panel and I found It was 65 YEARS woah. Maybe I should see if the thing the humans call the milky way is around. No but the sun is Its beautiful wait there the milky way is then I saw my reflection then I thought who is he then I realized they we’re right. We all grow old. Well looks like I have grown whiskers I spoke on the radio no reply. DO THEY THINK I’M DEAD, well then two can play at that game I saw earth I was coming in to land. I closed my eyes. I was scared, I knew John was gone I didn’t know what to do maybe I was interrupted by the parachute going out some time later I landed on terra firma.

Where am I? This Is not home. THIS IS NOT EARTH, this is a wasteland. I must find someone to help me. I saw some chimps and humans around some with the phones in hand, some walking around zombies and some running for their lives. I asked some of the chimps what had happened. They said people stopped caring for the environment and started catching Pokemon instead, the the app turned people into zombies and they reanimated the dead as well.

Then I heard someone yell, “YES A MEWTWO!” This is weird WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Then someone tried to squash me because someone, thought I was a Pokemon but they couldn’t catch me I realized he thought I was Mewtwo. I ran and ran and ran. I took cover somewhere then someone found me. I had to run again then I tripped and fell, I started to back up but I hit a wall . They were about to strike me down, then I woke up to find It was a dream. My space adventure was a dream. I Was just a baby chimp in a colony.

	Punctuation	Vocabulary
Self	R5
Peer	R4